8 things you must NEVER say to a pregnant woman
So here are some more sentences that you must NEVER utter out-loud to a pregnant woman (and yes, they have all been said to me at some point in my pregnancy!)
1. "Ooh, did I just see your baby move?" I kid you not, this was said to me whilst sitting in a coffee shop in Chiswick with some friends from my NCT class. I was 7 and a bit months pregnant and a complete stranger (who I later found out had been staring at my stomach intently with her daughter for the past hour) came up to me and said that exact line. OK, so not only is it INSANELY strange that she and her 20 year old daughter had found my pregnant belly such a topic of intrigue that they felt they could stare at it, but also, NO THE BABY WASN'T MOVING! I was probably just breathing! Its funny how your stomach moves when you breathe isn't it?
2. "Have you worked out when the baby was conceived' - Yes, I have actually. Would you like me to tell you the details? Yes? Ok well it was doggy style in the back of my husbands car whilst we were delaying getting to the my best friends wedding*. See? Did you REALLY want to know?
*Worth noting our baby was NOT conceived in this way. And yes I do know where and when bit I will not be telling you!
3. " Were you trying for a baby?"- Er no. We just decided to act like teenagers, forget contraception and then make a life changing decision on the spur of the moment because, hell, why not have a baby? (please note sarcastic voice in this statement!)
4. "I can't imagine you being the mummy to a boy" - no neither can I. Which Is why I had a complete meltdown when I found out i was having a boy instead of a girl. But hey, that doesn't mean I need to hear from you that you think ill be a rubbish mother to a baby boy! I might just surprise you!
5. "You actually don't look pregnant from behind" Yes, thats because my uterus is in the front.
6. "Once the baby is born, you won't ever love your husband the same amount again and he won't lose you as much" YES SOMEONE ACTUALLY SAID THIS TO ME. ENOUGH SAID!
7. "Make sure you sleep whilst you can because once the baby arrives you won't be able to" - Oh yes, because it is so easy to sleep when there’s another person inhabiting your body, kicking your bladder and squishing your stomach so you have indigestion and heartburn.
8. "Are you really sure you want a C Section? Have you really thought about it?" Nope, I just picked the idea out of a great big hat and decided to go with it! OF COURSE I HAVE BLOODY THOUGHT ABOUT IT! in fact, I think I agonised over it for about half of my pregnancy. I wrote about 100 for and against lists, I spoke to my doctors, I imagined the scar on my belly, I spoke to friends about their experiences......beleive it or not, it was not a decision I just picked out of the blue.
9. "You're going to start trying straight away for baby number two right?" (Thanks mummy for this this one!) - Yes, I know my parents would love more grandchildren than they could possibly afford (my mother has been stocking up on baby presents since I announced I was pregnant!) but asking about child number 2 when child number 1 isn't even here is a bit...pressumptious!
What have people said you you when you were pregnant that you couldn't quite believe? Share your stories by commenting below!